My relationship is not quite perfect: if we get married, is it doomed?

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You are not your parents. You have your own choices and future, says Annalisa Barbieri

My boyfriend and I have been together for five years; I’m in my late 20s, and he’s in his early 30s. We met a few months after my previous relationship ended, and we’ve been very happy. Last year, we moved abroad and have become closer – learning more about each other, what we need from each other, and how to argue effectively. We spent the first lockdown, just the two of us, in a new country, and came out stronger.

However, over the past few months we have been discussing whether we want to get married and have children. We’ve talked about it openly, and agree that we’re not sure. We feel as if our relationship is almost perfect – but not quite. We are not particularly passionate: we have sex relatively regularly, but don’t get as excited about it as we wished we did. Because we don’t see our future together as inevitable, and can imagine a future apart, we worry that’s a sign there’s something wrong.

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